I’m staring at the countless passengers dressed as if Christchurch will only have a slight “chill.” Little do they know, I’m a seasoned Cantabrian and am expecting about 3°C when we land at midnight.
The adventure is over. Not because it had to be but because I chose it to be. I’m sitting on the aeroplane as I type this out thinking of all the new adventures I’m going to have at home.
This past week has been particularly hard on me. Living away from my family was more of an emotional strain than I ever could’ve imagined. Even though I’m living in a big city I still feel alone. Nothing compares to the company of familiarity.
I have zero practice at living away from my family as I moved straight out of home to another country. Learning to deal with the separation, not hearing their voices everyday. Only being able to talk through a phone or computer where they always sound, somewhat, robotic. It’s hard having to deal with it alone. Even though others here talk about missing their families, it’s not the same because there not missing my family. The challenges, though small, feel monstrous when it’s only you.
Sitting in bed at eight o’clock in the morning I realise that the twenty-three degree heat is definitely not normal. I suppose Australians are used to this kind of weather.
Flashback a month and the clock ticked down to one day left. My bags packed and piled by the door. This was the day I took the big leap across the not-so-small ditch. I remember when I set my countdown and it read sixty-four days to go. This was and still is the most nerve racking thing I have ever done in my life. Leaving behind familiarity and family for a new adventure in a whole new country.
My best friend Ellie would be making the journey with me, which of course is a highlight in itself. I remember the overwhelming feeling of excitement. To be breaking free from the nest. But also a huge feeling of fear. Fear of this big dream not working out. Fear of failing. Fear of disappointing everyone who wanted this to be great. That includes myself.